Ambivalence

by David Loti

Ambivalence cover art
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1.
03:28
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2.
04:24
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3.
03:42
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4.
04:51
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5.
04:49
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6.
04:16
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credits

released 17 August 2006

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Track Name: Good Year
A subtle expectancy
Came for free
This time we celebrated
Another successful trip
Of the earth around the sun
And I cannot exactly define
What I have in mind
Which will make this year
Desirable compared to the
One we left behind

She asked
“How was New Year’s Eve?”
And I turned and smiled responsively
Cause this year started differently,
I already could tell
And I do not particularly
Subscribe to these philosophies
That each New Year’s
Comes with a clean slate
Cause life doesn’t always
Work that way

But I think it’s gonna be a good year
This time
I hope it’s gonna be a good year
In my mind

Nothing has changed that I know
But I know things constantly go
On behind the scenes
Which I will never know
Cause I’m too close to witness
Each minute growth
Nothing has changed that I know
But I know things constantly go
On behind the scenes
Which I will never know
And Hope that is certain
Is certainly not Hope

Hope.

©2006 David Loti
Track Name: Hope's Song
I do not understand what I do
For what I want to do I do not do
But what I hate I do.

But there is light in the end
For those who believe.
He who began a good work in you
Will carry it on to the end.

I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.

All have fallen short of You.
All have turned and walked away.
But You came in love anyway.
While we wandered aimlessly,
Trapped in sin so hopelessly,
You died for our sake.

©2004 David Loti.
Track Name: Catharsis
Life is strange these days.
I feel out of place
Waiting for something to change.

Breathe in; breathe out.
Is this numbness all life’s about?
The days will turn into postcard memories.

I just need to cry.

Some times what can seem
The most restrictive thing
Is freedom and all choices it brings.

How can it be where relationally
Everything was perfect
The Supreme would decree
“It is not good for man to be alone”?!?

Some times you just need
A sad song to sing.
The fact that I couldn’t cry
Was the saddest thing to me,
But it’s all gonna be ok.

©2005 David Loti.
Track Name: Wishing I Were There
Another lonely day; another emo song
Finds it way through this guitar.
I sit here and I wait in daylight’s denouement (Darkness deserving its own shining star.)

Another emo day; another lonely song
Finds its way through the voice of my heart.
I sit here and I think of the Great Design,
And I wonder what part my smallness can play.

I’m not asking for the world,
But it sure would be nice
To have someone in this world
Wishing I were there tonight.

Another used up day gives way for an open night Which will soon be over like life’s short song.
The Purpose is so great; I’m proud to play a part,
But I’m tired of feeling so alone.

Something’s just not right tonight.

©2004 David Loti.
Track Name: You Are Always Good
You are Always Good
No matter how I feel.
You are Always Good;
This does not depend on me.
You’re Always in Control
Even if I cannot see
You’re Always in Control;
This does not depend on me.

Love is Who You are.
Love is What You do.
Love is All I need.
All I need is You.

You are Always There
When there’s pain and joy inside.
You are Always There
To bring my deaths Your Life.
You are Always Love
No matter how lost I am.
You are Always Love:
Offering out Your Guiding Hand.

©2005 David Loti.
Track Name: You Are the One I'm Trying to Please
Sometimes you have to walk the hard road
For a while
Before you stop to realize
It’s been a while
Since you’ve seen someone you know
Or a sign which says which way to go.
So you just fall down exhausted from it all, and you cry a held up cry— admitting what you’ve known all along.

I am who I am, and I may not be
Who you want me to be.
But I cannot be who I’m meant to be
If you are the one I’m trying to please.

Sometimes you have to walk the hard road;
that’s just life.
But won’t you stop to realize loneliness is a lie. You’ve heard it so frequently
Now it’s all your heart can see,
And each step’s a chore—
Each one harder than the one before.
And you know life’s got so much more
So you finally shut the unhealthy door.

©2005 David Loti.